Well, that was my freak out moment. I freaked out. I got scared. Than I started to get over it. I had to tell myself "Wait! You WILL be fine!!!" I am not leaving Nashville. Why would I leave the place I love just when the going gets tough??? Just when I've finally started to feel comfortable and at home??? That's crazy talk people.
So what AM I going to do? Well I'm going to fine a "whatever" day job while I work on changing my life. I don't want to be a cubicle monkey for the rest of my life. In fact I can't do it. I just can't, my last job was killing my soul and sucking the lifeforce from me. I mean I had to have a drink after work just to calm down.
I want to go into counseling and become a licensed family and marriage counselor. I'm good at listening and not judging. I'm good at helping people and talking. Why didn't I consider these actual skills before?? I have no idea.
I have always considered becoming a therapist. It was an idea that existed in the back of my mind. But I thought "That's not a real job. You can't make money. You'll never have a corner office." For so long I was obsessed with other people's idea of achievement that I never stopped to consider what my idea was, what do I want?
Well apparently it took a major life shift and a lot of suffering for me to stop and consider. Actually all this crap I've been going through I think will be for the best.

Breathe.

OK, in completely unrelated news (or maybe kind of related), why is it always something when you meet someone who makes your heart sing??? I've met someone I think is really special. But you know what, he's going through a divorce. Grrrrrrr. So we've decided to just be friends. The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. But are we going to do anything about it? No.

Ah well, at least I've got a new person in my life that I think is going to be a genuine friend.