My latest girl crush, I'm having a lot of them lately. I love this song. It's so raw. It's like she literally wrote this the moment that some dude pissed her off. I feel her. Can you guess who I think of when I hear this song?

I just discovered Stevie Wonder's version of   The Doors " Light My Fire".  Just a revelation! If you've got a download service I command you to find it and download it.  It's on his My Cherie Amour album. 
While we are on the subject of Stevie Wonder he has made my favorite love songs.  Ribbon in the Sky, For Once in My Life, That Girl, As, My Cherie Amour, You are The Sunshine of My Life, I just Called To Say I Love You.  Classics. They will always sound good. Always.  Him and Frank Sinatra. Love songs that will always sound good.
Remember when they made love songs??? When was the last time you heard a really great, romantic love song? 

I think Coldplay has made a few, but they all have a strong emo bent to them.  What about just a pure, let's slow dance, let's make love, let's get married, love song? With no irony. I don't think I've heard a good one since the nineties. Did the new millennium, the information age, crappy economy, and war make us all so cynical that no one is in the mood to write a love song???

Quote of the weekend:

"If I were a lion, I would find the shy girl in the corner…and bang her." -The Artist

The Artist and I are spending a bunch of time together again. We basically had a 24 hour marathon from Friday night to Saturday night which involved: watching world cup soccer way too early in the morning, a very yummy breakfast where I insisted that a Kosher beef hot dog was in fact a perfectly respectable breakfast food, a visit to the Frist Center for the visual arts to see the new Egypt exhibit, yet more World Cup Soccer watching in an honest-to-goodness beer garden drinking Stella Artois, a stroll through the "Redneck Festival" that is the CMA Musical Fest weekend, dinner in an Irish pub, and whew! swimming in the pool. And on the 7th day We Rested.

Then I couldn't seem to avoid him on Sunday despite trying to desperately, but that's probably because we live in the same neighborhood. Ohmigoodness: I AM the "girl-next-door"
Weird.

I also went out with a new friend whom shall be referred to as the Teddybear, because he is this huge man, he's got to be 6'4" and he's big. He's a bouncer at a club and studying to be a nurse. He also has this quiet gentleness about him. He took me to Bourbon Street Blues and Boogey which had an awesome funk and blues band with a complete horn section. That was so much fun. It was a big treat for me. I love live music. And the Teddybear just took me out to be nice and cheer me up. After we left the Blues club we ended up running into the Med Student's friends and singing karaoke for awhile. I can't say it didn't give me some pleasure for Med Student's friends to see me having fun after I was treated so harshly.
I went shopping with my friend Pete. We did the whole Target, Home Depot, thing. Well, he bought stuff, basically I just told him what to buy. And what he absolutely should not buy.
I tried out a new church in Nashville. Belmont United Methodist Church. You can check it out here: www.belmontumc.org I was very impressed. I got a really good feeling there. The people were nice, a diverse crowd, and an intelligent sermon. And a beautiful sanctuary. Only problem I didn't see many people my age. Still, I think I will go again.
Actually it was as close to a great weekend as a girl can hope for. Especially given I didn't spend any money.
I live a charmed life.

You know most of the time I'm a happy go lucky single gal. A social butterfly I flit from one Nashville social scene to another. All smiles and laughs. I feel like I've got a great life, great friends, great place, great town, great job.

And then there are days like today. When I go to the company baby shower. And everyone has babies or babies on the way or wives or fiances or whatever. They have real houses and real stuff. And I think "Oh My God I am turning 26 tommorow and what have I got to show for it?" Well besides lots of degrees and stuff and a better sense of self than ever.

I hate it when people say " Just Stop Looking" if a single person says they aren't looking for love they are flat out lying. There. I said it! Oh they may have given up. They may have filled their calendar with stuff to keep them busy, but the bottom line is humans seek human affection from the second we pop out of the womb. You can't just shut it off.

But you know what? I'm not willing to settle and I'm not willing to rush. SO there ya go. Catch-22.

P.S. Men don't tell me I have plenty of time. Only men say that.

Oh, so after my friend said to me "Let's Just Be Friends", the next day he gives me a TV. A nice big TV.
Granted it's the one he replaced with an HDTV.
But I've never broken up with someone and then received a "parting gift" that could actually be on the Price's Right.
I wish all my exs had given me major household appliances upon the demise of our relationship.

Well, that was my freak out moment. I freaked out. I got scared. Than I started to get over it. I had to tell myself "Wait! You WILL be fine!!!" I am not leaving Nashville. Why would I leave the place I love just when the going gets tough??? Just when I've finally started to feel comfortable and at home??? That's crazy talk people.
So what AM I going to do? Well I'm going to fine a "whatever" day job while I work on changing my life. I don't want to be a cubicle monkey for the rest of my life. In fact I can't do it. I just can't, my last job was killing my soul and sucking the lifeforce from me. I mean I had to have a drink after work just to calm down.
I want to go into counseling and become a licensed family and marriage counselor. I'm good at listening and not judging. I'm good at helping people and talking. Why didn't I consider these actual skills before?? I have no idea.
I have always considered becoming a therapist. It was an idea that existed in the back of my mind. But I thought "That's not a real job. You can't make money. You'll never have a corner office." For so long I was obsessed with other people's idea of achievement that I never stopped to consider what my idea was, what do I want?
Well apparently it took a major life shift and a lot of suffering for me to stop and consider. Actually all this crap I've been going through I think will be for the best.

Breathe.

OK, in completely unrelated news (or maybe kind of related), why is it always something when you meet someone who makes your heart sing??? I've met someone I think is really special. But you know what, he's going through a divorce. Grrrrrrr. So we've decided to just be friends. The sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. But are we going to do anything about it? No.

Ah well, at least I've got a new person in my life that I think is going to be a genuine friend.

When we last left our heroine, she was thinking that maybe men weren't so bad. SO what happened since then...
Behind lj cut for those of you that don't want to know about my dating exploits...
(  I'm becoming a lesbian )

So yeah, does anyone know if there are lesbian courses I can take? Are there any online?? I've already cut my hair and turned in my contacts for my Lisa Loeb glasses. What's the next stop?
Because celibacy does not work for me. I can't do it. I'm not going to lie and say I'll try. I won't. So I figure the best way to remedy my situation is to just start seeing women.

The Valentines Day curse has been lifted. I don’t know what to say really. I’m so surprised. Cutie chef came through. He surprised me. Showed up at my place to get me. Then instead of going to a restaurant we went to the grocery store. He bought all sorts of things I have never heard of to make a French meal. We had a really nice Pinot Noir. He showed me how to prepare the meal. It was wonderful, like having my own personal chef. We watched a movie, had wonderful conversation, mild kissing and touching (pleasantly free of heavy sexual pressure) and then he took me home. It was a really great night for me.
Now I am in this place where I don’t know if he is a nice guy going slow, or “just not that into me” because he didn’t try to jump me.

Still if nothing else, he didn’t throw up on me, I didn’t hurt myself, I didn’t embarrass myself, it wasn’t cheesy. Somehow the curse is gone. Cool.

Good Morning

So I am in this super pleasant mood today. I woke up without my alarm clock. I took a relaxing hot bath, for a half an hour while listening to my morning NPR. I dressed in a leisurely fashion. I headed down to the local bakery and grabbed a croissant and a glass of fresh squeezed OJ. I picked up the weekly Nashville Rage and Scene. I walked in the crisp morning air with a smile on my face. I just feel good.
Sometimes I just love where I live, and that I can live such a great lifestyle. I don’t have tons of money but by every other measure I am exactly where I want to be.
I am relaxed at work, I’ve got a date tonight with an international banker.
All I have to do is decide whether to go to the gym or do my usual 3 hour pre first date ritual after work.