So apparently I am so stressed out that I now have an ulcer. What’s that about? I thought ulcers were for old fat men.
In other news, why can’t I lose ANY weight. I have been consistently working out at least 5 days a week for the past month, I cut my calories, I am drinking more water, I cut my alcohol intake by three quarters to practically nothing. My workouts haven’t been sissified. I’m doing 45 minutes of cardio ( alternating between elliptical , stair master, dread mill, and aerobic step class) and 20 to 30 minutes of weight training.
I have not lost 1 single pound.
Not one.
What am I to do now? I can only think of going on a severely restricted diet. Getting rid of my favorite food: cheese! Completely cutting out all alcohol. ( Not even a glass of wine? This makes me sad) and going down to 1200 calories a day from my trainer recommended 1500.
I am now convinced those people on the Biggest Loser are having colonics and eating 300 calories and working out 8 hours a day.

Also, I had this AMAZING dream last night where I was dating Jake Gyllenhal and we lived in some fantastic Mediterranean country. Life was good. The dream seemed to go on forever from us meeting to us dating to us moving in together. When I woke up. I was like “Nooooooooooo!!!! I want to go back there!!! Why can’t THIS be a dream, and THAT be real????” Sometimes good dreams are just as cruel as nightmares.

Despite all this I'm still in a pretty good mood today.